The Barnett Family

Dear Mom

2011-07-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom,
I am filled with grief, depression, guilt. I miss you so much. I feel cheated. I don't understand why this had to happen. You are the only one I can call about anything and you were taken from me. I worry about Dad in that house. I am jealous when I see mothers and daughters together. I want to call you - but instead have to go to your grave. YOUR GRAVE! I look for signs of you everywhere. I pray all the time that God will allow me to feel your presence. Where are you Mom? I need you! You were always on my side when I would call you and cry about stupid stuff!
I know that if get to the temple I will get the peace that I am so desperate for. When I ask Heavenly Father to please let me have a moment with you..I feel in my heart I could if I went to the temple. Roberta and Bradley have both shared their experience. I know I can count on Roberta to go with me when I am ready. I just don't know how long its going to take..and that frustrates me. My poor Nathan hasn't even been baptized because I can't take another big family event with you not there.
I cry so much and often that it doesn't even affect the boys anymore. They just go on about their business. I am so proud of the way they take care of their Grandpa. One day when I was taking them over to stay with Dad I thanked them for all the time they have spent with him since Grandma died. "Grandma can have more fun in Heaven if Grandpa is being taken care of." They want to make sure of that.
I hope you know that you are loved and missed. When I think of you in heaven I imagine you looking like you did when you were young and had that big hair! Beautiful angel.
I remember how you were such a fan of Princess Diana..I wonder if you are bff's in heaven! When Prince William got married I wondered if you were watching with Princess Diana!
I imagine you laughing and carrying on with friends that passed before you..especially Laura Brown.
I think of Grandma and how when she died something in you clicked off. Oh how happy you must be to be reuinted with her! You were always best friends. In my mind I can see you hugging and hear grandma's joyus laugh to have her daughter back with her! I imagine you two running all over the place doing girlfriend stuff. I worry that the grief Dad, my sisters, and I are feeling is messing up your good time.
I think about how it will probably be at least 30 years before I see you again and it breaks my heart.
I love you Mom. I still need you.

Love,
Wendy

Pictures of PawPaw

2010-01-18T10:32:00.000-08:00

I finally got around to finding some pictures of the boys with their PawPaw.

Until we meet again Paw Paw

2009-09-08T16:19:00.000-07:00

Darrell's dad passed away on Monday. He was 80 years old. His funeral will be on Friday. Here are a few pictures I found from our last visit there. I have some really cute pictures of him holding my boys when they were babies but I will have to find them and post later.

Sit down in your thinking chair and think..think..think....

2009-07-27T15:04:00.001-07:00

Boys in the pool

2009-07-26T21:04:00.001-07:00

Kindergarten Graduation

2009-05-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

This is my little Pookie Bear Nathan, aka Nay Nay, all grown up and graduating from Kindergarten. He got all 4's (A's) on his report card. I'll never forget the day I was home from work and decided to take a nap. The doorbell rang around 12:45. I thought it was the UPS man so I just ignored it. Then a few minutes later the dog started freaking out - so I got up to investigate. There standing on the front step was Nathan. He was outside at recess and decided he didn't want to be at school anymore. Mom was more fun. So he just came home. After lots of hugs and kisses and a juice bag I returned him to school - where everyone was out looking for him. This landed him in the Principals office. When Mr. Rogerson asked him what happened he replied, "I escaped school. I'm gonna hang out with Mom." He had a few more attempted escapes but they caught him in time. I was worried about him, but he ended up doing just fine. Love my baby boy!

Sick of all this sickness!!

2009-04-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

Because I have felt like doogy doo for 3 weeks now - this blog is NOT positive. Major attitude/venting in this one!

For real, ya'll.
I am so over everyone in my family being sick all the time. Poor Bradley who has trouble with school anyway has missed so much school I don't know what is going to happen! My stupid boss has decided "no schedules" she will just call me if she wants me to come in that day...makes it hard to plan ANYTHING...and how am I supposed to make Dr's appointments if I don't know if I am gonna get called in to work? I guess boss lady thinks we don't have lives or something! A co worker of mine had not been called in for 2 weeks so she went to Canyon City to visit her daughter for a few days. She ended up in trouble because boss lady tried to call her in while she was out of town! SO unfair, I think. If I didn't need a job reference I would sooooo quit this place. So anyway...I have applied for a job with the school district. The job posting closes this week so fingers are crossed that I get an interview...it would be just my dumb luck that I do - and I will still be sick. Oh the impression I will make coughing and sneezing all over the place!
But please, please, please, please!!! Let me get a job soon. I am so sick of my stupid, too small, 1 bathroom, no garage, can't grow any grass in the yard house. Thank goodness my neighbors are nice at least.

A gross snot story..

2009-04-18T20:21:00.000-07:00

If you get grossed out by snot, do not read this!

I have been sick the last few days with a cold or allergies...who knows. I try really hard not to sneeze around other people. I do not have a cutesy girly sneeze. I sneeze like an old man.

Anyway, on our drive to the Phil Long Expo today for Bradley's Scout Pinewood Derby race I kept squeezing my nose shut to keep from sneezing. Nathan asked me why I kept doing that. I told him if I sneeze in the car we would all go shooting up to the moon. The boys got a laugh out of that.

We were waiting f o r e v e r for Bradley's race to start. Joshua occupied himself "fixing" my hair.

A guess after a few hours of holding in my sneezes my body got fed up with it...because next thing I knew....kaaaboooom! At least 6 times. SNOT ALL over my jacket sleeve. Gobs of it. I know gross huh?!?!

When I finally got it together enough to look up my husband was looking at me all horrified. Joshua is screaming at me "I just spent 45 minutes working on your hair and look what you did!!!" LOL!

Nathan was dissapointed we didn't all go shooting to the moon.

More house hunting!

2009-03-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

We spent some time looking at new houses this weekend. We had a house all picked out in Fountain, but we changed our mind about living in that town.
Anyway, my new house obsession is a new community called "Feathergrass" located near Constitution and Powers.
My parents will be happier if we live there because it will be closer to them. This house ended up being less expensive than the Fountain one - and it comes with a basement standard, and I like the floorplan alot more!

Ok..Adam Lambert is my boyfriend again.

2009-03-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

Soo.....all is forgiven. Even though he annoyed me last week for what he did to Ring of Fire, I couldn't wait to see what he was going to do tonight. My boyfriend did such a good job tonight on American Idol! Yeah Adam!

American Idol - Country night.

2009-03-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

Adam Lambert is not my boyfriend anymore! Dude! It was country night. He could have at least tried! Lil did! It wasn't really good, but she tried!

BOO Adam with your gothed out Ring of Fire song. How are ya gonna goth out Johnny Cash! NO No NO. :-(

My NEW Boyfriend for this week is Kris Allen. Go Kris!

My American Idol Picks - Favorite 4

2009-03-11T07:48:00.001-07:00

#4

Allison Iraheta

Is this girl really 16? Totally kills it. So talented!

#3

Lil Rounds

IDK I just think she's cool

#2

Danny Gokey

AKA "Robert Downey Jr. Gokey"

I just want good things to happen for him.

Adam Lambert

AKA - "My Boyfriend"

Why isn't he already famous? LOVE HIM!

He is so talented. His theater background shows! (His Dad totally looks like Pat Sajak.)

I can find anyone!

2009-03-06T16:05:00.000-08:00

My Mom thinks I can track down anybody. :-) I am pretty good if I put my mind to it. Anyway, my mom had lost touch with her friend, Gloria, and asked me to help with finding her. So I did the Google thing and got nowhere. Then I thought...FACEBOOK! I looked up Gloria's daughter and found a few people with the same name. I picked one and sent her a message. It had been a few weeks and I had not heard back so I thought I picked the wrong one - but then today while I was at work I got a text message! I was excited because it was my first text ever - and it turns out I had picked the right one! Gloria's daughter texted me and she remembered my Mom and gave me all Gloria's contact information. She lives in Salt Lake City and my Mom and Dad are going to Utah next week for a Family Reunion - maybe they can have a friend reunion!
I raced home after work so I could call my Mom. She was so happy/surprised/excited I had to read her the message two times.
She is going to call her tonight. I can't wait to hear how it went.
Yeah for Facebook!

I want this one.

2009-03-01T13:57:00.000-08:00

(we will get the 4th bedroom option.)

And shock of all shockers - Darrell went on a Mortgage Calculator and - we can afford it! If you are familiar with my current house you understand why I was surprised. There is a HUGE difference.

The bad news - as of last week, according to Zillow.com, we are officially upside down on our mortgage. The last six months have been brutal on the value of our house.

So rather than boo hoo about it I am going to get to work! Many of my friends know I have been begging my husband to rent a dumpster so I can clear this place out. Guess what!!!!! He ordered me a 16ft one and it will be here Tuesday! I am so excited! He has been instructed to butt out and let me do my thing - and not to go dumpster diving to get back anything I have tossed out! I bet that joker is filled up in 3 days.

After all the cleaning out - the home improvements will begin!

Since there will finally be room to move - paint, paint, and paint! Everything needs painted.

Then - tile the kitchen floor.

I also want to take a portion of the family room and make a 4th bedroom. I might have to wait on that one because Darrell and I are clueless about framing out a wall and hanging dry wall.

Maybe by the time I get all this stuff done the economy will be better and I will be able to sell this house?? Oh! Let me dream! :-)

Updates

2009-02-22T22:24:00.000-08:00

Wow...forgot all about this blog. Oh well. I will just make a list of stuff thats going on.

1. STILL haven't joined Curves. Sad. Haven't lost any weight either.
2. I must be getting really bad because Darrell is letting me use tax refund money to pay for my Curves membership - so I don't have to save up anymore! I told him I didn't know what I was going to do, because I don't want to go to the Curves just down the street from my house because its so ghetto. I went there 2 years ago and liked it at first, until I realized there was only one "trainer" that did anything. The other two sat on the phone on personal calls. The other two also couldn't measure correctly and made me think I had lost a bunch of inches - only to find out when the owner/trainer measured me that it wasn't true. Then the owner/trainer started telling me how to diet - which was funny since I was not that much bigger than her - so what did she know? At first I was embarrassed then I just got annoyed with the whole Curves thing and quit going.
3. Darrell went for a drive last Sunday (skipping church) and found a non ghetto Curves in Fountain and has encourged me two times to go down there. Guess I better go check it out.
4. Speaking of skipping church - I haven't been in 6 weeks.
5. My husband is enabeling this behavior - though I know he is just trying to help. I thought I was going to have to go today to hang up posters for RS Enrichment meeting but when I got up to get ready for church he told me he had already gone over to the church and did it for me...so I went back to bed! Anyone that ever talked to me because they actually liked me now have callings in Primary or YW...so that leaves me sitting alone in RS all the time which I HATE and on the rare occasion someone sits with me or talks to me its just because they feel sorry for me. I just can't get motivated to get up early and get all dressed up for that!
6. Nathan totally rocks on Guitar Hero. His little fingers can't work it right so he plays it like a steel guitar. It is so cute.
7. My little baby Bradley turned 10 this weekend and I can't believe it.
8. My Joshua and I were talking about him getting baptised this year. We are planning waaay ahead because he doesn't turn 8 until October..but anyway...I asked him who he wanted to speak at his baptism and he said Grandpa and Bradley! YEAH! Bless his cute little heart for not picking me..but I totally will if he changes his mind.
9. Oh..I almost forgot! We had a family birthday party for Bradley on Saturday at Itz. Nathan got on a ride called the Flying Kite where people get strapped in and "fly" around in circles. Nathan was looking kind of nervous about it but I know he wanted to do it because his brothers did. Well my 68 year old Dad went and jumped on beside him and flew with him so he wouldn't be scared. I almost cried I thought that was so special.

Thats all I can think of right now. Hopefully I will be more positive next time I blog. Sorry..I am just in a bad mood tonight. :-(

Flash is going to live.

2008-11-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

Last week I had to take Flash to the vet because he has had a huge lump on his foot for a few months. When all was said and done, his vet bill was more than my dang paycheck! Anyway...Dr. Christy called this morning to let me know that the test results show the lump is just an infection that should clear up after 2 weeks of antibiotics.

I really wish that vet would have tried antibiotics first before she did the testing. Would have saved me a bunch of $$.

Dogs are so expensive! My cat has cost me a whopping $80 in vet bills her entire 10 year life - but this dog...we have had him about a year and a half and he has cost us over $1000! I am too scared to figure out the real total. I am grateful it isn't anything more serious though.

Getting too Big

2008-11-16T17:43:00.000-08:00

Today as we were sitting in church I noticed that my family was really crammed. We have all gotten so big that I think we may need to start sitting in the middle rows! Then I looked over at the middle rows and saw one man who 5 years ago when he and his family joined our ward was big. I'd say back then he was one of the largest men in the ward...but now...he has totally lost a ton a weight. I don't even think he is big anymore. He is normal size! But me and Darrell just got bigger and bigger.
So that is it. 2009 will be the year Darrell and I get it together. I am going to join Curves as soon as I have the money to pay for it. I don't know what Darrell is going to do for exercising since we quit YMCA 2 months ago cause there were always a bunch of scary people hanging out by the entrance and I really didn't like having to deal with that on the way in. But, I doubt we would have gone anyway because we are just l.a.z.y.
Anyway, my goal for 2009 is to lose 52 lbs. Just one lb a week should be achievable right? If I lose more than yeah me. I have no more excuses. Not pregnant, not having chemo, doing better on my depression thanks to my lovely "Happy Pills." So as my Mom used to say...I got to get my rear in gear.
So if anyone wants to join Curves with me or be a Walking or Diet buddy with me let me know. I need all the help I can get!